Serch Beats Child - Turns Himself into Protective Services

In Serch's latest blog we learn that Serch is the only man in the history of Child Protective Services to turn himself in for beating his kid (No Joke Insert Needed):

Daddy's Day... For the fathers that deserve it

Greetings:

As always I hope this blog finds you in good health and spirits. I wish all of you a happy summer. Make the most of your time with your people, family, friends, mates, and whoever you associate with.

I want to extend my condolences to the family of the late rapper out of my old hood, Stack Bundles who was killed outside Redfern Projects last week. My G-d bless his family and friends as they mourn his loss. I hope he is in a better place

I don't know if Stack had kids. I know that I have kids and that they are planning something for me this Father's Day. I look forward to getting whatever I want of that day. To sleep, to hang around the house in my draws, to go the movies, to go and eat, whatever. The kids make me a great brunch, usually with bagels and eggs and fruit, which last about an hour as I get my cards and love and appreciation for being their dad. I don't know how deserving I am to be honored this year. I have not been around as much. I have doing a lot of traveling. I have been short tempered lately and looking for me time instead of we time. I am frustrated. Then I think about the fathers that don't do anything for their kids except make them. How many dads out there will get credit for being a sperm donor? Mothers, who say to their kids, even when dad doesn't do anything for them, will say "He is still your father and he deserves his day". I am not buying that anymore. So this is what I propose.

FATHER'S DAY REQUIREMENTS:

Yes yes y'all. I think that it is now time for fathers to fill a certain quota in order to enjoy Father's Day. The basics are as follows:

1-You have to be a Father. This mean you take responsibility for the growth and maturation of a child from baby to adult and beyond. If you are not involved in your kids or step kid's life, you are already out of the day and it is just Sunday to you

2-You have to be a responsible Father. This means you are giving that child life lessons based on character growth, education, integrity, and honesty unbiased. No matter how much their mother may fight and tussle with you, you instill in your child or children that your relationship with them is more important than any one person. That they are first in your life. (Honestly I fall short on this one a lot). If you are a father, your kids come first and then everyone else is a distant second.

3-You are a loving father. This means that you are not heavy handed with your kids. Many of you are still using the prehistoric method of slapping or hitting your kids. Not only are there like 50 years worth of long term testing showing that children that are hit are not any more responsive and will be better behaved. I have hit my son once, ONCE. I felt so bad about it that I turned myself in to Child Protective Services in New York (You can look up my case record since I am the first person in the history of the state of New York to turn himself in.). I had a case worker come and visit my home twice and she then realized after talking to my wife and kids that this was an isolated incident and that never happened again. We must stop the hitting of our children, we must stop the idea that the only way for a child to learn a behavior pattern is through being physical. I have used the "Time Out" method with my kids to great success. Many people don't know how that works, and you should watch Super Nanny to get the idea of how it does. It would take too much time to write it but if you are interested in knowing and don't want to watch the show, send me an email and I will break it down. We must be patient with our children and realize that they will make mistakes and be annoying and that hitting them will not solve that problem or the annoyance. I honestly believe that if you hit your child that you should never celebrate Father's Day. Real talk.

4-You are a present father. This means that you are not running out of the house at all hours with your boys but you are making time for your family and your kids. When you have down time you are taking some time for yourself and then making time for your kids. Again I am guilty this year of doing this. At every turn I was trying to get out the door. I let my kids down and lost precious time with them that I will never get back. Your children need a father to be present. This does not mean you are in the house. It means that if they are playing video games you show interest. If they want to talk to you, you shut everything off and make them the center of attention. When they want to try something new, you are there to oversee. A present father is giving his kids the gift of his time. That's way it is called the present.

5-You are their father. This means that you are not trying to be anyone else's dad. If you make a child with someone then take the time to raise them. You should not be trying to make other families when you can't take care of one family. We have too many baby mamas. Where are the Daddies? I am very much about family. Father Days is the day to show love to that Father that is taking care of his family, not one of his families. Now there are some loopholes to this one. If you are divorced and have a second family, then that is different. Sometimes two people cannot work things out and the relationship becomes toxic. This is the worst thing to show a child. It gives them the notion that this is how a normal family is supposed to work. Sometimes it is just better to go your separate ways and be there for your kids and not have issue with their mama. Then find that person that you were looking for with mama number one and make the right (and hopefully final choice with lady number two). This means double duty but if you make wise decisions, then you children from your first marriage or relationship will see the beauty in this new loving relationship and they will love that they have an extended family with new brother or sisters or both.

6-You are a true father. This one is the most important. Your honesty with your kids and them trusting everything you say is everything. If your kids find out you are not truthful, that you are not what you make yourself out to be, then you are flawed for life. Even if they do not mention it ever again, they will always have it in the back of their minds that you cannot be fully trusted. You being honest with your kids, in time and ages where they can fully comprehend your honesty will build a relationship with your child or kids that will be invaluable to them and to you. My oldest daughter just found out that I was dishonest about something with her and the look on her face was indescribable. I felt like my world has come down on me when her jaw dropped and the tears floated down her face. That I had let down the one person who was not here to judge me made me realize that I could never make that same mistake again. I have vowed no matter how tough, I would never lie to my family again. Never is a big word. I am here to back it up.

I have not been able to accomplish many of these rules recently. I feel sometimes that I am not worthy of this years Father's Day. I was thinking that this year I would start off by apologizing for not being the greatest father. But working towards being a better one is a great goal to fulfill.

There are many fathers that can look at this list and say nothing because they handle it every day. Some of you might look at this list and pick it apart to find flaws or add more rules. Some of you may never pay any attention to this list, just read it and keep it moving. I needed to write this list because it is a guideline for me. It will and has benefited me to be or become the father I choose to be. I am going into Fathers Day knowing I did the best I could and hope that I get the opportunity to do more. To be more. To try and accomplish more. The time is going to come where I might not have as much time with my kids as I do now. I do not want to look back at this time and see what I wasted, but what I accomplished. If this list makes you feel inadequate well then do something about your self. If you don't think this list is accurate, let me know your list. That's what these blogs are for. I hope the future fathers read this list so they can measure up. We need more fathers to measure up. Don't you think?

Serch

This goes out to my dad who did the best he could.

Happy Fathers Day Dad, I love you